


Take Shape On The Page

by nothingelsematters



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, gracie and jason are cousins in this one, my brain wtf, why am i writing this when i should be finishing other stuff, you can blame this one on british eurosport
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-04 03:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1764197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingelsematters/pseuds/nothingelsematters
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Monument Public Elementary School needs a new building after the old one burned down.</p>
<p>A very prominent businessman who resides in the town recommends a young up-and-coming architect.</p>
<p>And a schoolteacher running from love is about to run straight into it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> This began as a fun quirk the other night when I was re-watching Joshua's LP from 4CCs - the British Eurosport version. Apparently, Joshua wants to become an architect after he's finished skating. I had also just read an article about the hundred-and-one plans Max has for his retirement. And then suddenly a switch flipped in my brain:
> 
> Jason couldn't handle the nerves and quit skating at 14.
> 
> Joshua never came back from the broken leg.
> 
> Max quit the ice altogether afte breaking his back.
> 
> Gracie never mastered the double Axel and had to stop.
> 
> And suddenly...
> 
> ...dammit, brain.

“I don’t quite understand why we’re needed here,” Jason muttered to Gracie as he slipped into his seat. “I haven’t finished hanging up the fingerpaintings to dry and you know if I don’t they’ll go curly and I’ll have a classroom full of very cranky kids tomorrow.”

“No kidding,” Gracie answered. “I’ve got spelling tests galore to mark. It’s very thoughtful of him to want to talk to the teachers about it, but I think all of us definitely have other things to do this afternoon...”

“Thankyou all for coming,” the principal’s voice carried across the room, and they settled back. “And now, it gives me great pleasure to introduce the architect that the school board has hired to design and oversee our new building. Please welcome, Mr Joshua Farris.”

There was a smattering of polite applause as a young man walked in the door.

Jason felt a frown forming and tried to stop it. The man looked familiar. Had he seen him before?

He was tall, slim, handsome, with bright blue eyes and dark hair. Something tickled in the back of his memory.

Then the architect smiled a shy smile, and Jason decided he probably didn’t know him. He must have one of those faces.

“Hello everyone,” he began. “I’m very sorry to have pulled you all in here when I know you must have better things to do. I’ll try and make this quick.”

He began to talk about the preliminary design process, about how he was taking some ideas from the old building that had burned down, about how he would create a building that would not just be functional but beautiful.

“For the next two weeks, I will be making my preliminary sketches,” he finished. “Your principal has kindly granted me permission to walk about the school grounds and sketch the environment. I would like to assure you all that I have all the requisite checks and clearances, and I will not disrupt your classes. Thankyou.”

“Well, that sounds a bit more hopeful,” Jason said to Gracie as they stood. “Lord knows the kids deserve a proper school building rather than these demountables.”

Gracie nodded. “And it sounds like he wants to make it look nice too, but not at the expense of what a school should be. I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’m not so sure I like the idea of him just roaming the grounds, though,” Jason added. “I don’t think he’s a bad person, but you know my kids will go crazy when they see a stranger. Especially if they see him drawing!”

“The perils of kindergarten,” Gracie teased. “Well, you chose your lot!”

“Rather have the kindergartners than the ones with attitude,” Jason shot back with a grin. “Don’t think I haven’t forgotten the stories you tell me. Sixth graders are a nightmare.”

“Max is coming home on Friday,” she changed the subject. “You want to come over for dinner?”

“Oh sure! If I wouldn’t be in the way, that is,” Jason winked, laughing. “Seriously, I’d love to. How long was he gone this time?”

“Three weeks,” Gracie sighed. “He promises it’ll be the last trip for a while, though.”

“Didn’t he say that last time?”

“Well, it wasn’t his fault that that other company went up for sale at exactly that moment. You couldn’t blame him for needing to strike while the iron was hot.”

“No, that’s true.” Jason paused. “Hey, when am I going to get some little cousins? You and Max are that crazy about each other and you’ve talked about it often enough, I’d have thought there’d be at least one or two by now.”

Gracie just grinned. “When the time’s right, Jase. Besides, isn’t one cousin enough for you?” she elbowed him in the ribs.

“Oh, ha ha.”

“Excuse me.”

Jason and Gracie turned and saw the architect standing behind them. The sight startled Jason and made him catch his breath. He really was very handsome – no! No, he was not starting that train of thought.

“Hello, Mr Farris,” Gracie said politely.

“Joshua, please,” he answered awkwardly. “I was wondering if you could please point me in the direction of the bathroom? I haven’t had much time to look around.”

“Just down there,” Gracie smiled, pointing. “Third door on your left.”

“Thanks very much, er...”

“Gracie,” she answered. “Gracie Gold. Sixth grade. And this is my cousin Jason, Jason Brown, he teaches kindergarten.”

“Very pleased to meet you both,” Joshua smiled. “Thanks again.”

“He’s cuter up close,” Gracie giggled as she turned back towards her classroom. Then she realised Jason hadn’t followed her. “Jase? Everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Hm? No, I’m okay, it’s fine. I just thought I’d seen him before, that’s all. I don’t think so, though.”

Gracie studied him closely.

“You know, Jase, it’s okay to look at a guy and think he’s cute,” she said seriously. “It’s been five years. You’ve got to move on with your life.”

“I have moved on with my life,” Jason smiled. “The kids are my life, you know that. I don’t need a man when I’ve got their smiling faces looking up at me.”

Gracie just shrugged. “All right. Anyway, don’t be late for dinner on Friday. Max is cooking.”

Jason gave her a playful nudge. “Now how did you manage that? Marrying a guy who’s not only a total studmuffin but also rich, athletic, ambitious, loves kids, _and_ he cooks? And of course shows impeccable taste in falling head over heels for my beautiful cousin.”

Gracie blushed. “Oh, quit it.”

Jason stuck his tongue out at her.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kids. They say (and do) the darnedest things.
> 
> Jason loves his class. He really does. But there are some days when they are just full of mischief...

Jason closed the roll and smiled at the sight of those upturned, expectant, happy little faces looking at him. The whole class was hanging on his every word, waiting to see what he would say.

“I have a surprise for you,” he smiled. “Since it’s such a nice day, how about we do our nature time outside?”

A cacophony of cheers and excited yells broke out in front of him.

“Now,” he said, for their instant silence, “When we go outside, we need some extra things. What do we need, guys?”

Hands shot in the air.

“Isabella?”

“We need our cushions to sit on so we don’t get dirty,” she said seriously.

“Yes, you can take your cushion. What else will we need for drawing outside?”

They went through the list.

“Yes, Lachlan?”

“Our hats,” he said with wide eyes. “No hat, no play.”

Jason tried not to chuckle; Lachlan had only arrived from Australia a few weeks ago, so of course he would be the one to say that.

“All right. On the count of three, everyone is going to get what they need and line up by the door. Now, what are our rules for getting things?”

“Take only what’s yours and no running indoors,” they chanted back at him.

“Ready? One, two, three.”

_Leave it to kindergartners_ , Jason couldn’t help but grin as he watched them scramble. True to their rule, they weren’t running. But there was some seriously fast walking going on. At least everyone seemed to have grabbed their own stuff, and not someone else’s. Jason had worked on them for two months straight on that.

He strolled over to the door to wait for the stragglers, smiling as he watched them line up carefully. When he was sure they had all of their things and their hats were safely on, he led them out into the grounds.

There was a favourite part close to the fenced-off area that his class particularly loved, under a large tree, and he led them straight there. They talked for a little while about different types of trees, and then he let them start drawing.

It all went smoothly for a while, and Jason got to sit back against the tree and watch them. Their studious little faces, the tongues poked out at just the right angle as they concentrated so hard on their pictures...it all made his heart warm and his soul peaceful.

“ _Johnny! Give back my blue pencil!_ ”

And there went his peace.

“What’s happening, guys?”

“Johnny stole my blue pencil!” Ashley wailed.

“But it’s more blue than mine!”

“Hey, hey, all right. Johnny, you know what the rule about borrowing things is, don’t you?”

“Always ask first because stealing is the worst,” Johnny mumbled.

“That’s it. Now, how about you give Ashley her pencil back, and use another colour? I can see you have a lovely purple glitter pencil.”

“Okay,” Johnny mumbled again. Then he turned to Ashley. “Sorry Ashley.”

Jason smiled and returned to his spot by the tree, deciding not to take it further with Johnny. Sometimes all kids needed was a quick reminder.

Then his heart froze.

One of the kids was missing.

He counted again just to be sure. No, he hadn’t mistaken, Angela was gone.

His heart hammering, he tried to stay outwardly calm, and looked around. Just as he was about to really get worried, he spotted her. Not that it made him any calmer. There was a man sitting on a rock, and Angela was trotting up to him.

Jason quickly glanced at the other kids. They were all busy with their drawings and very focused. Hoping none of them would move, he hurried after Angela.

He had almost caught up with her when she started talking to the man on the rock – and Jason realised with a start that it was Joshua, the architect.

“Excuse me sir, what are you doing?” Angela asked.

Joshua smiled down in surprise at her. “I’m drawing, sweetheart.”

“What are you drawing?”

“The place for the new school.”

“Why?”

“So that I can draw pictures of the new school.”

“Why?”

“So that we can build the new school.”

“Why?”

“So that you can have a nice shiny new school to play games in.”

“Oh.” That momentarily stopped Angela, and Jason took the opportunity to jump in.

“Angela, sweetheart, that was not very nice of you to just walk away like that,” he said calmly. “And you shouldn’t bother Mr Farris while he’s working.”

Unfortunately, those words seemed to have the reverse effect on Angela.

“Mr Farris is working?” she repeated curiously.

“Yes, Angela,” Jason replied. “So we shouldn’t bother him.”

“You get to draw pictures for your working?”

Angela’s eyes were round and bright with excitement.

“Yes, I do,” Joshua answered, smiling down at her. “I draw pictures of buildings.”

Angela’s eyes got even wider.

“Your job is drawing pictures of buildings?”

“Yes.”

“Mr Brown?”

“Yes, Angela?”

“What is the word for a job that’s drawing pictures of buildings?”

“Architect. Mr Farris is an architect, Angela.”

“Architect.”

There was a moment of silence, then Angela suddenly yelled,

“I wanna be an architect!”

“Angela, we should leave Mr Farris to his work.”

Unfortunately, today was obviously not a lucky day for Jason. He turned around; and his entire class was now standing with him, watching Josh drawing on the rock.

“What’s he doing?”

“Can I see the drawing?”

“Who’s that?”

The babble of young voices rose all around them; Jason groaned. Josh smiled.

“Hello, everyone. My name is Joshua.”

“Hello, Joshua,” the class answered politely.

“I am an architect. Who knows what an architect is? Not you, Angela.”

Jason couldn’t help his smile as Dylan’s hand went up. Dylan was possibly the shyest boy in the class.

“Is it...someone who...decides what buildings look like?”

“Yes,” Josh nodded. “Then I draw pictures of them.”

Johnny grabbed Josh’s notebook and peered at it. “There’s no buildings here!”

“Johnny! No snatching!” Jason snapped.

“There aren’t any buildings yet, that’s true. That’s because first, I like to draw the trees, the grass, the mountains, all the things that are around the building.”

“We’re drawing trees too!”

“Can you show us how?”

“Now, guys, Mr Farris is busy working,” Jason cut in quickly, startled.

“No, no, it’s all right,” Josh grinned. “I’d love to.”

And that was how Jason found himself sitting on the rock, watching as his class studiously drew pictures of the building site, some with more concentration than he’d ever seen.

“Aren’t you going to draw a picture, Mr Brown?” said a teasing voice to one side; he looked up and saw Joshua standing next to the rock.

“I can’t draw,” Jason grinned wryly. “I’d rather watch them.” He paused. “Thankyou. You didn’t have to do this, you know.”

“Eh, to own the truth, I was starting to run a bit dry on the inspiration front today. Your kids came along at just the right moment. It livens my day.”

There was a slightly awkward silence for a moment, and then Joshua went back to attending one of the drawings.

Jason found himself looking with more than a professional interest. Joshua was so good-looking! And elegant, and well-spoken, and clearly passionate about his work, and what was more, he liked children...

_No_. _Don’t go there._

But it was hard not to, when Joshua looked back up at him and smiled.


	3. Three

Jason grinned as he finished his final sweep of the classroom. Friday! For the moment, he was going to pretend the lesson plans that he had to finish didn’t exist; it was Friday, and that meant the weekend, and sleep, and dinner at Max and Gracie’s tonight. He bounced out the classroom door and locked it.

A quick detour home and a shower later, and he was walking up the steps of the very large house his cousin and her husband lived in.

Gracie opened the door with a huge grin and gave him a hug. “He’s on the way from the airport now,” she giggled. “Oh Jason, I can’t wait!”

“I’ll bet you can’t,” Jason chuckled. “But c’mon, it’s Friday, where’s the wine?”

Gracie led him back into the kitchen and poured him a glass of their favourite red. Jason noticed she didn’t have one.

“Get started without me?”

“Nah,” she smiled. “Just don’t feel up for it, tonight.”

Jason was surprised. He and Gracie had _always_ had a glass of wine on a Friday after work. And suddenly she was bailing out on him?

His train of thought was interrupted as the main door opened again and a deeper voice called out, “I’m home!”

Gracie let out a delighted shriek and ran out into the hall, where a young man about Jason’s height stood, dark hair rumpled from the plane, dark eyes bright, and a crisp suit presently getting crushed by his wife as she flung herself on him.

Jason was left to feel like an awkward third wheel for a moment as Max pulled Gracie close against him and kissed her deeply. Their love and passion was obvious, and Jason couldn’t help a little smile.

He remembered the fight it had caused in the family when seventeen year old Gracie had announced her new boyfriend was a 21 year old triathlete and businessman. He had sided with Gracie when he saw how Max looked at her; and his faith had been rewarded by the length and strength of their relationship. Even as Max became a powerhouse businessman, off on trips and buying companies and suddenly worth a very substantial amount of money, he never neglected her.

Had it really been eight years? Jason was shocked to think. But yes, that had to be right. Gracie was only just seventeen when they started dating, and she had turned twenty-five only two months ago, so it was. Eight years together, and five of them married.

“Hey, Jase,” Max grinned, finally surfacing; he grabbed Jason’s waist with his free arm and pulled him in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Good to see you. Been keeping an eye on her, have you?”

“Of course,” Jason grinned as they moved towards the kitchen. “After all, someone has to ward off all those sixth-grade crushes.”

Max laughed and shrugged off his suit jacket, rolling up his shirt sleeves.

“All right, time to get cooking!” He paused, looked at his arm around his wife, and the kitchen again, and grinned. “I would hold you forever, my Grace-girl, but I have to cook.”

Gracie laughed and perched herself on the bar stool on the other side of the bench.

“Oh, by the way,” Max continued as he began chopping vegetables, “I invited another guest.”

“Who, dear?”

“A young architect I met in Arizona a few months back. He designed the Children’s Hospital there, and it was beautiful, just beautiful, so I gave his name to the school board when they said they were looking and invited him to dinner. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Not at all,” Gracie grinned. “I think we know your architect, anyway. Is his name Joshua, by any chance?”

Max glanced up in surprise. “Yes, it is. Is he in town already?”

“He’s already at work on the new building. Jason and I met him earlier in the week.”

“Hm.” Max went back to his preparations. “Hey, Jase, could you do me a favour and go grab me a bottle of white? Take it from the cooking rack, I don’t care which.”

Jason disappeared down the stairs.

“He changed colour when you mentioned Josh’s name.”

“He’s been doing that all week,” Gracie answered. “And been hanging around him a bit, too. I think by accident, but who knows?”

“You reckon...?”

“Oh, he’s crushing all right.”

“Hm,” Max was adding things to the pot, but his grin was mischievous. “And Josh’s single too. And the same age as Jason, you know.”

“Oh really?” Gracie’s grin widened, and she knew they were thinking on the same wavelength.

“Absolutely.”

“And it’s about time Jason had somebody in his life.”

“Josh is really a great foil for him – quiet and soft-spoken.”

There was a knock on the door and Gracie hopped off the stool to answer it; Max watched her go and suddenly cursed as the knife took advantage of his lack of focus.

“I heard that.”

Max pulled a face at Jason, who put the wine down and fetched the first aid kit.

“This is why I keep teachers around, you see. Smarter than me.”

Jason laughed at him as he cleaned the cut. “Well, if you weren’t so busy watching Gracie, you’d have been fine.”

Max grinned. “I can’t help it. Ow!”

“Oh, toughen up, princess,” Jason teased. “I have five year olds who put up with this better than you! There.” He put the bandaid on and stepped back. “I’m not kissing it better.”

“No offense, but I’d rather your cousin did that!”

Jason turned to put the first aid kit away – and froze in surprise.

Gracie had just walked back in with Joshua. And Joshua was more handsome than Jason had ever seen him, a simple shirt, jacket and slacks.

“Oh, hi, Jason,” Josh looked just as surprised, and there was a faint pink tinge to his cheeks. “I wasn’t expecting you here.”

“Jason’s my cousin,” Gracie explained. “He often comes for dinner. Joshua, this is my husband, Max Aaron.”

“We’ve met,” Max grinned. He waved the knife. “Sorry, Josh, I’d shake hands, but this is your dinner.”

“That’s okay,” Josh smiled. “Thanks for taking the extra trouble to cook dairy-free.”

“Oh?” Jason asked, curious. “You’re lactose intolerant?”

“No,” Josh answered. “Anaphylactic to dairy.”

“Oh!” Jason was surprised. “That must be difficult.”

“Difficult, but not impossible,” Josh replied. “I just have to be careful. Max was kind enough to offer to cook dairy-free tonight, which I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all,” Jason reassured him.

“I just wanted to try a new recipe,” Max admitted.

It turned into a great evening of relaxation and enjoyment. Max’s recipe turned out well, and with the suitable wines to accompany their meal, their chatter flowed easily.

Jason began to feel more comfortable talking to Josh as the night wore on. Sometimes he had to; if Gracie smiled at Max, he would lose the thread of their conversation, and if he smiled at her, so would she, so Josh was his only reliable conversational partner.

Gracie began to yawn, and Max teased her gently; there was an odd sparkle in his eye, and he lifted her gently and carried her up to bed.

“Are they always this...affectionate?” Josh asked Jason, smiling.

“Especially when Max has been away a little while,” Jason nodded. “Though there’s something different about tonight. I can’t put my finger on it.”

“Maybe they’re just excited because it’s Max’s last trip.”

“Yes, his last one – til the next time,” Jason laughed. “In all seriousness, he does mean to be more often at home now. I think they want children soon.”

Josh’s smile widened. “They’ll be gorgeous kids, that’s for sure.”

“And well-loved.”

“By their cousin as much as their parents, I imagine,” Josh shot back, and Jason’s eyes widened. Had Josh just _teased_ him?

Yes, he had. And his blue eyes were sparkling so brightly, the smile and the laughs so perfect on his face. The icy chains around Jason’s heart began to melt.

Later, as he climbed into bed, he realised it felt cold; cold and empty.

_Maybe Gracie’s right. Maybe it is time to move on. Maybe...maybe it is time to stop sleeping alone._

His dreams that night were all of blue eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> matchmakeyMax/Gracie are my favourite!


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which a lot of things start to become rather clear.

The first day that Joshua did not show up at the school to sketch, Jason found himself disoriented on playground duty. He wasn’t the only one who missed Josh; little Angela, who had taken to sitting next to Joshua’s rock during playtimes, was distraught.

The second day Joshua did not appear, Jason felt a strange tightness in his chest. Why did he care so much that Joshua wasn’t hanging around, sketching?

But on the third day, his questions were answered, and a whole set of new ones raised, when he found Joshua waiting for him outside the classroom after school.

“Hi,” Josh smiled.

“Hi,” Jason answered, unable to stop himself smiling back.

“Did you miss me?”

“Angela sure did,” Jason avoided the question. “Where’d you go?”

“I was finalising the design,” Josh replied with a huge grin. “It looks fantastic. The school board is holding a dinner to present the design to the community on Friday night.”

“How wonderful,” Jason beamed. “I can’t wait to see it!”

“I’m glad,” Josh grinned. Then his face turned serious. “I...well, I don’t really want to stag my own dinner.”

“Why don’t you ask Karina?” Jason asked. “She’s pretty and seems to like you.”

Josh laughed and shook his head. “Actually, I already know who I’m going to ask.”

“Oh? Who?”

“You.”

Jason froze, and blinked. Then he turned slowly to face Joshua.

“W-what?”

“You. Would you like to come to the dinner with me?”

Jason’s heart nearly jumped out of his chest, hammering out of control as an overwhelming surge of panic threatened to engulf him. Josh was smiling at him, his blue eyes eager, his smile a little bit shy.

“Oh...Josh...I...I’d love to...”

Josh’s face lit up with a huge, beaming grin.

“...but I can’t.”

Josh deflated faster than a balloon that had met a pin. “Oh. I...okay.” He tried to smile. “Are you already going with someone else?”

“Actually,” Jason replied, “I wasn’t going at all.”

“Why not?”

“I just...can’t.”

“Oh.” A deep red flush of embarrassment was spreading over Josh’s cheeks, and Jason felt awful. “If – if you’re worried – about people talking – we could go as – as just friends?”

“It’s not about people talking, Josh. I couldn’t go with you.”

Josh took a deep, hitching breath, and for a terrible moment, Jason thought he was going to cry. But his voice was relatively composed, with only a slight quaver, when he spoke again. “Okay. I get it. I...okay.”

Jason felt guilt rise up, and he realised that, more than anything, he owed Josh the truth right now.

“It’s not you, Josh. I promise. I just...it’s...”

Josh looked up at him.

“I’m not from Colorado.”

“I guessed that much,” Josh answered, confused. “But why is that important?”

“Gracie and I are from Chicago,” Jason continued. “We grew up together there. Not long before graduation, I met...well, his name...was Blake.”

Jason closed his eyes for a moment, trying to compose himself. Josh was starting to look more curious than hurt, so Jason continued the story.

“Blake...treasured me. He pampered me, coddled me, spoiled me, made me feel like I was the centre of his universe. He even gave me a ring, we looked at houses together, we talked about our future together.”

There was a long pause.

“What happened?” Josh finally asked.

“We couldn’t get married,” Jason closed his eyes, striving for self-control. “But we had planned a ceremony anyway. Two days beforehand, I decided to surprise him at his flat with breakfast.”

Jason took a deep breath; it might have been five years, but it still hurt.

“I found him in bed with another man, a man I considered a close friend of mine. I...don’t remember much of what happened next. There was a lot of yelling. It turned out they’d been sleeping together almost the entire time we’d been together. I told him I was leaving...he hit me.”

Josh gasped.

“He hit me, and told me that I was staying, and we would stay together, because he wanted my share of my parents’ inheritance. I told him in no uncertain terms that it was over between us. He told me he knew where I lived. Gracie was already moving to Colorado Springs to be with Max, so I went with her. Only my parents knew where I’d gone. I finished my teaching degree here, and decided never to go back. And – and I – I’ve never been...I’ve never dated anyone since.”

Josh nodded and bowed his head. “I...I understand. And...Jason...thankyou for telling me.”

Jason just nodded back. Josh stood up slowly and left the room, and as soon as he did, Jason slumped to the floor and cried.

*

The dinner was the only topic of conversation in the staff room for the next week, and Josh was constantly in and out as he helped finalise plans. Jason tried to avoid him; he felt awkward at having spilled his story, and sure he’d hurt Josh’s feelings.

Josh tried not to think too much about it. He still wanted to ask Jason out, to try things out with him, but it was obvious that Jason was hurting, and maybe it was still too early to try. Sometimes he laughed at himself. He hadn’t been so awkward and shy since he was in his early teens – that Novice competition, with that boy who had been his first kiss...

“Hello, Joshua,” Gracie smiled as she came in.

“Hello, Gracie,” Josh answered. “How come you’re not in class?”

“I don’t teach French,” Gracie laughed. “The French teacher does that. So I get a session off. What are you doing in here?”

“Just settling the final seating plans,” Josh answered. “Are you okay? You look pale.”

“I have a headache,” Gracie sighed. “I’m sure a cup of tea will help.”

Josh smiled and went back to his plans; he heard the hiss of the hot water boiler behind him; then a gasp and a totally different sound: retching.

Josh jumped to his feet at the thump that echoed through the staff room; he whirled around and saw Gracie crumpled in a heap on the floor.

“Gracie!”

He rushed across. Gracie was struggling to get up; Josh caught her as she collapsed again. Her face was almost white as a sheet, and she was shaking.

“Gracie, Gracie, talk to me.”

“I’m okay,” she whimpered. “I’m all right.”

“No, you’re not. I’ll get the office to call an ambulance.”

“No! I’m okay.”

“You’re not okay!”

“I’m all right, Josh, just let me sit.”

Josh rocked back in indecision. What should he do? Gracie was clearly very unwell. But she really didn’t want him to call somebody. He couldn’t make her listen. Who could convince her that she needed help?

_Jason_!

Josh hesitated a moment longer, before deciding. He propped Gracie up against the wall, and grabbed a bucket from the corner in case she was sick again. Then he jumped up and rushed out of the room.

Jason was smiling, creeping on cat-feet amongst his napping students, occasionally bending down to pull a blanket over somebody that might have slipped off. They were all asleep, which was something of a minor miracle; normally one or two of them stayed awake.

Then he heard the faint thud of running feet on the balcony outside; he crossed to the door, prepared to open it and tell off whoever it was, when he came face to face with an out-of-breath Josh.

“Josh?” Jason whispered. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Gracie,” Josh whispered back. “She’s sick, she’s collapsed in the staff room, she doesn’t want me to call anybody. Can you talk some sense into her?”

Jason glanced back at his classroom; the children were all asleep. But Gracie sick? Gracie was never sick. There might be something seriously wrong. And he knew Gracie; if she’d decided she didn’t want help, she certainly wouldn’t listen to the pleadings of an architect.

“Can you watch them?” he whispered. “You don’t need to do anything, just watch them, keep any that wake up quiet, maybe read them a story if they start waking up.”

Josh nodded, and Jason whisked his way out.

*

“Gracie?”

“Jason?” Gracie smiled weakly, her eyes opening slowly. “How’d you find me?”

“Josh came and got me. Gracie, you’re sick. You need an ambulance. Or at least let me call Max.”

Gracie tried to shake her head, but it was a very slight movement.

“Please, Gracie,” Jason pleaded.

Gracie sighed.

Finally, Jason got her to agree, and he raced to the office to tell them to call an ambulance, before quickly calling Max and letting him know what was going on. Max said he’d meet the ambulance at the hospital. The paramedics arrived quickly, got Gracie onto a bed, and she was gone before she had any more chance to protest.

Jason made his way back to the classroom, and smiled as he walked back in; twenty sleepy-eyed kindergartners were sitting in front of Josh, who was giving them a very animated reading of “Where The Wild Things Are”.

When Josh finished, Jason clapped his hands and declared that it was pack-away time. As the kids were scrambling to put away their mats, blankets and pillows, Josh asked quietly, “Is Gracie okay?”

Jason frowned. “I don’t think so. I’ve never seen her that sick before. I hope she’ll be all right.”

Josh nodded.

“Hey, thanks for looking after my little guys,” Jason added with a smile. “I really appreciate it. You’re so good with them.”

Josh blushed and shrugged awkwardly. “Gracie needed you,” was his only answer, and he left soon after.

“Mr Brown?”

“Yes, Angela?”

“When are you going to ask Mr Farris to be your boyfriend?”

“Can I see your cushion still on the floor?” Jason countered, and Angela hurried off, unaware of how shaken she’d left her teacher.

*

Josh knocked awkwardly on the door. Gracie hadn’t been at school today after being taken away yesterday, and he wanted to make sure she was okay.

A strange man opened the door.

“Can I help you, sir?”

“Uh, I just came to see Gracie.”

“Ms Gold is presently indisposed to visitors,” the man replied.

“Er, okay, is Max home?”

“I will show you through to Mr Aaron’s study,” the man said. “Follow me.”

Josh followed him quietly down through to a large room at the front of the house, where Max was seated behind a desk, writing.

“Mr Aaron, a visitor for you.”

Max looked up; he looked tired, but he smiled when he saw Josh.

“Thankyou, Nathan.”

Josh waited until the door closed before he asked, “Who was that?”

“Nathan is our part-time butler. Because I get so many business calls during the daytime hours, I found it easier to employ someone part-time.”

“I came to see if Gracie was okay,” Josh said, showing Max the flowers he’d brought. “She looked awful, yesterday.”

To Josh’s surprise, a huge smile spread across Max’s face.

“Gracie’s fine,” he said. “They call it morning sickness, but obviously it can strike at any time.”

“Morning...oh!” The meaning of what Max had just said clicked in Josh’s brain. “Oh, congratulations!”

Max was beaming with pride and happiness. “She was just a bit nauseous, and her blood sugar had dropped a little low because she’s been having some trouble keeping her food down, so she fainted. The doctors say she’s fine, no damage, everyone’s healthy, and they’ve given her some tablets to take if she feels sick.”

“Did you know?”

Max nodded. “We’ve both known for a couple of weeks. We just didn’t want to say anything, but obviously she can’t collapse in public and not have people suspect.”

Josh grinned and they settled in to chat. Gracie was sleeping a lot at present, Max explained, and he didn’t like to disturb her.

It was when Max was reaching for a book on architecture that he’d promised Josh that Josh noticed the shelves on one side of the room with trophies, photos and medals.

He peered more closely, and was greeted with a baby-faced Max in full hockey gear; the trophies seemed to be from Team USA under-age teams. There were also some pictures of Max in costume, with medals from the lower levels of figure skating.

Max saw him looking and grinned ruefully.

“Yeah, that was a while ago.”

“What happened?” Josh asked.

“Broke my back when I was sixteen,” Max answered. “I was lifting weights in the gym. I was off the ice for a year and when I got back, I realised I didn’t have the feel for either sport anymore, and I was so wary of my back. So I decided to take up triathlons instead. Less impact.”

Josh nodded – and his eyes widened when he spotted a little girl in some of the photos. “That’s never Gracie!”

“Yep,” Max grinned proudly. “Very good she was, too.”

“Why did she stop?”

“Couldn’t land her double Axel,” Max said sadly. “So many young ladies have that problem – not a few young men too.”

Josh just nodded again, and continued down the row of photos. Then his heart stopped.

In one of the photos with Gracie was a tiny, skinny boy, with sticking-out ears, and a ponytail, and a big goofy grin. But it was the dark eyes that caught Josh’s attention. He knew those eyes; still remembered them, as a pair of shy fourteen year olds fumbled together in a hotel room and kissed for the first time.

“I’d forgotten Jase was ever that small,” Max laughed, misreading Josh’s gaze.

Josh didn’t know how he got through the rest of his short visit with Max, which ended when Max said he wanted to take Gracie a cup of tea. He rushed home and, from the depth of his closet, pulled out a box. Rummaging and pushing side the medals, he found the pictures, and pulled out the one he wanted.

There was the younger him, standing on top of the podium, smiling; there was that taller blond boy, standing in the second place; but there, in the third place, was the same skinny boy from the photo in Max’s study. Josh flipped the photo over; their names were written on the back. Steven Evans was the taller boy; but his eyes were fixed on the name of the small boy.

_Jason Brown._

It was him. The boy that Joshua had first kissed, that Joshua had first loved, was now the schoolteacher that Joshua had feelings so intense for it scared him.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you I was trying to keep it short.

Jason sighed as the door closed behind him. No Friday night outing for him; everyone else was at the dinner. Even Gracie had persuaded Max to take her for a little while; she was over the worst of her sickness, and after promising him they wouldn’t stay too late, they had decided to go. It was Max’s recommendation that had brought Josh here, after all.

And Jason’s heart constricted as it always did now at the thought of Josh.

Why did Josh make him feel this way? Jason would have gladly gone his whole life without loving again. He’d only felt like this twice before – most recently with Blake, of course, but only once before that...that cute little Novice boy with the bright blue eyes...

_Wait..._

_Bright blue eyes...?_

And once again Jason couldn’t escape the feeling he’d met Josh before.

A knock on his door jolted him from his reverie. Opening it, he was shocked to find Josh standing on the doorstep, dressed smartly for the dinner.

“What are you doing here?”

“I...I have to know.”

“Know what?”

“Is this you?”

Jason felt his eyes widening as he stared at the picture Josh was holding out. It was the photograph of the Novice podium, with that sweet boy in first, and Jason in third. That sweet loving boy...those eyes...

Jason looked up into eyes exactly the same shade of blue.

“How...” he whispered. “How did you get this?”

“It’s mine,” Josh answered softly. “The copy they give the champion.”

And at that moment, the name of that boy hit Jason with all the force of a sledgehammer.

“Oh my god,” he whispered. “Josh! Joshua Farris!”

“Yes,” Josh answered.

“It was you! I thought I’d seen you before – because I had!”

“You disappeared,” Josh said in an agonised tone. “I spent the entire year after that Nationals looking forward to seeing you again. But when I got there, you weren’t there. And I never saw you again, and I always wondered why.”

Jason was silent for a moment, before stepping back, allowing Josh to come in. He made his way slowly through to the back of his own small study, and pulled out the box that he had not looked at in years.

There, amongst the nests of trophies, was a bronze medal from the Novice nationals. Jason pulled it out and stroked it silently.

“There’s nothing from beyond that year,” Josh said curiously.

“That’s because that was my last competition.”

“But why?” Josh asked. “I still remember your programs. You had so much potential.”

Jason sighed.

“I couldn’t handle it anymore. I would be physically sick with nerves before every competition. Before the first competition of the next season, I actually fainted when they called my name. After that, I decided I wasn’t cut out for competing. How could I possibly expect to reach the top levels if I was fainting from nerves at club competitions? Kori tried to convince me we could fix it, but I just couldn’t do it anymore.”

Josh nodded, looking down and smiling at the pictures of them. And suddenly it occurred to Jason.

“Hang on. You should be an Olympian by now!”

Josh shook his head.

“What happened? Why didn’t you make it? You were doing triple Lutz-triple toe at fourteen!”

“Did you ever watch skating after you quit?”

“No. I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle it.”

“Then you didn’t see.”

“See what?”

Josh tapped on his phone and brought up a video, handing it silently over to Jason.

“This was my Senior debut. I was sixteen, and the reigning Junior champion.”

Jason peered at the screen. The Josh on the screen was halfway between the skinny boy on the Novice podium and the young man sitting next to him.

The program began, and Jason gasped in horror with every jump. On the third fall, Josh’s whole body visibly shook next to him. By the end of it, Jason was almost in tears as he watched the young Josh crying on the screen.

“What happened?”

“I broke my leg on the third jump pass,” Josh shook his head. “I already had a torn hip muscle and I’d gone into anaphylactic shock the night before.”

“I don’t understand,” Jason said. “Bones heal.”

“The doctors weren’t prepared to give me any guarantees. By the time I got back on the ice...I was too scared to jump.”

“Oh, Joshua.”

There was a moment of silence between them. Then finally, Joshua spoke.

“I came here tonight because...because I wanted to let you know...that scrawny little boy I first kissed...he never left my heart.”

Jason looked up, and was caught in Josh’s gaze, his emotions lying bare for Jason to read.

“Oh...I...I don’t know...”

Josh’s hand closed over his, stroking gently. “I never forgot you, Jase,” he whispered. “I never stopped loving you.”

The icy chains around Jason’s heart shattered.

“Well...maybe...”

“Will you give it a try?”

Jason hesitated. But there was such raw emotion, such love, in Josh’s gaze, that he couldn’t help but smile.

“Well...all right. I’ll give it a try. But on one condition.”

“What’s that?”

Jason grinned and stood up.

“Tomorrow, you’re getting back on the ice.”

Pure, unadulterated fear displayed itself on Josh’s face for a moment.

“I’ll be right there with you,” Jason added. “And you won’t have to jump.”

A small smile quirked the corners of Josh’s mouth, before spreading into a grin.

“All right. But first, we have a dinner to attend.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing my best to prevent this spinning out of control.


End file.
